This past April, I started to share daily situations in my life that included my experiences with my family including my child who has Autism on my social media pages. I felt it was important to use April a/k/a "Autism Awareness month" to share my everyday experiences and challenges. You see it is all about "light it up blue" and "awareness". This is all great but what about the other 11 months? I wanted to share the honest truth and not hold back any feelings as I couldn't imagine that I am the only one going through this. What about the fact that we as parents of ALL Special Needs children have many similar fears? Of course I tend to speak of Autism but so many of you can relate to me.
so........ I just turned 41, yes 41! Shared an amazing weekend with my husband and ended it with a massage! Wow, first off I was able to create a team so we can be gone for 36 hours. Second, I was able to convince him that it would be fine. The planning that has to go into leaving a child with a disability for just a day and half is exhausting in itself. I kept asking myself, is this worth it? Well I will say that it is ABSOLUTELY worth it because we need to not only celebrate me (deserve it) but we need to celebrate us! After 17 years, we are still going strong but that is because we make this time for ourselves. No matter how much stress was a part of the planning and how many times I said, "I am going to just cancel"!
Marriage is tough, relationships require working at them and we cannot ever forget that.
I am not here to give marriage or relationship advice (although I do feel I give good advice). I am sharing that after my wonderful 36 hours of being child free, I came home to a meltdown!!! That threw my relaxed muscles into a hot knots. Sure he behaved perfectly while I was gone, slept awesome, woke up happy, had a great day at camp and even a great day at therapy then WHY?????? Does he hate me????? Maybe he was mad because I left him but he loves the sitter and his brother was with him. I will never know why as he does not have enough language to share with me his feelings but WHY does this have to happen?
It's 11pm and he is still awake. His mood is better and he has gotten over it but he is refusing to go to sleep, UGH! I reflect back and I can say it was worth it. My husband and I needed the "adult" time. We as parents MUST make time for ourselves. I know it's difficult, but give it your all and make it work. If you can't get away, how about a staycation? How about just hitting the mall for a few hours or having lunch with friends? I have no regrets and no guilt. We as parents work so hard for our children. We need our time too, nothing wrong with that!
so........ I just turned 41, yes 41! Shared an amazing weekend with my husband and ended it with a massage! Wow, first off I was able to create a team so we can be gone for 36 hours. Second, I was able to convince him that it would be fine. The planning that has to go into leaving a child with a disability for just a day and half is exhausting in itself. I kept asking myself, is this worth it? Well I will say that it is ABSOLUTELY worth it because we need to not only celebrate me (deserve it) but we need to celebrate us! After 17 years, we are still going strong but that is because we make this time for ourselves. No matter how much stress was a part of the planning and how many times I said, "I am going to just cancel"!
Marriage is tough, relationships require working at them and we cannot ever forget that.
I am not here to give marriage or relationship advice (although I do feel I give good advice). I am sharing that after my wonderful 36 hours of being child free, I came home to a meltdown!!! That threw my relaxed muscles into a hot knots. Sure he behaved perfectly while I was gone, slept awesome, woke up happy, had a great day at camp and even a great day at therapy then WHY?????? Does he hate me????? Maybe he was mad because I left him but he loves the sitter and his brother was with him. I will never know why as he does not have enough language to share with me his feelings but WHY does this have to happen?
It's 11pm and he is still awake. His mood is better and he has gotten over it but he is refusing to go to sleep, UGH! I reflect back and I can say it was worth it. My husband and I needed the "adult" time. We as parents MUST make time for ourselves. I know it's difficult, but give it your all and make it work. If you can't get away, how about a staycation? How about just hitting the mall for a few hours or having lunch with friends? I have no regrets and no guilt. We as parents work so hard for our children. We need our time too, nothing wrong with that!
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