Not sure about other parents but when this happens I have to ask myself, what am I do wrong? Is this going to be my life forever? WHY ME?
I do not believe I have done anything wrong. I am a good person, a reliable daughter and friend, and I think a great mom! I know how to handle this. I help my clients all the time with advice on how to deal with different situations but why can’t I fix this with my own child?
Yes, this is my life forever. Not exactly what I had in mind when I said, “I do” which by the way, I fainted at the alter shortly after those words came out of my mouth. Was that some sort of indication that my life was about to turn upside down? No lie and no exaggeration- passed out cold in my beautiful gown right next to my handsome groom.
I am grateful for my life and all God has given me. I mean everyone does tell me God would not give me anything I can't handle....
After all, I can handle anything right? Whenever anyone tells me this, is it bad that I want to punch him or her? I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!! BREATHE!!!!!! I know my family and friends mean well but that has to be the most ridiculous statement. The more I think about it, the more irritated I get. So the parents that can’t handle it are saved from having a child with special needs? And who determines who can handle what?
So what do we as parents do? I cry, I second-guess every decision I have every made, and I start to feel sorry for myself. Yup, that's what I do for all of 10 seconds because I have no time for this. I need to quickly become therapist/marriage counselor/family counselor. I need to get through this one and try to figure out why it happened. I will not second-guess decisions I made and will fight on because he is my boy and we are in this together. Do I worry about his future? Everyday... Do I worry about my husband and kids? Everyday... Do I worry about my health and sanity? Everyday... Do I worry that he is going to high school? You have no idea- Just wait for that blog in a few weeks.
This is just a snapshot of what many parents including myself go through. If you want to be a good friend and support to us, don't tell us God would not give us anything we can't handle! Be sensitive to what you share with us because more then likely, our dreams have changed and our lives and future plans may be very different then yours. I am trying to juggle my marriage, my relationship with all my children, multiple schedules, my friendships and my career. I am doing the best I can, we all do the best we can but sometimes we are tired. See- this is all okay! I write, I get to work with amazing families, I have a beautiful family of my own, I run, and of course I drink wine. This is my super power, what's yours? Cheers!